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Phoebe Sinclair Writes

Phoebe Sinclair Writes

Category Archives: Learnin’

Permanent Loan – Connecting Through Things and Love

11 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Community, Learnin'

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

as-we-are-living-it, community, photography

About a year ago I obtained a friend’s digital SLR camera on “permanent loan.” What’s permanent loan, you ask, and how’s that different from a gift? Also, doesn’t it bother you knowing someday your friend might ask for the camera back?

self-portrait-2012

That artful spatter in the rightmost photo? It’s toothpaste.

I’ve thought these issues through. I’ve wondered, what does it really mean to borrow something without an end date? What happens if the item breaks while in my care? How does it feel to haul this camera around, always with the knowledge that it’s not really mine? If/when I get a new camera, I’ll give the borrowed one back, right (of course, by then it will be truly outdated, as is the way of modern electronics)?

Underlying these questions are my values: limiting my participation in the wastefulness of consumer culture (IMO, today’s digital point-and-shoots have too short a life expectancy), making good use of that which I already own or have access to, look to the wisdom and resources of my community to address my needs.

self portrait with Canon SLR

Even more underlying is the basic desire to connect. Have you ever loaned a book or CD (I’m dating myself!) to a friend in part because the act provides a sly opportunity to further cement that person in your life? Permanent loan is kind of like that, a line of connection and belonging attached at each end to a person. Like family heirlooms and the cotton shirt left behind by an ex or lost parent, borrowing and sharing can imbue items with significance beyond their actual purpose.

So while the newest camera in my fleet is a beautiful tool through which to view the world, it also symbolizes a friendship. Possessing it provides opportunity to play with uncertainty, and it reminds me of the numbers of “things” in my possession that belonged originally to others.

Know who else in my life is on permanent loan?

Jack cat captured by a knit headband

Jack Steiger: borrowed ten years and counting

New Book Dangers

08 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Learnin'

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Tags

book-love, boston-public-library

I pity the book that is checked out first to me.

As a former library employee, a current library-frequenter, and one who deeply respects books, it shames me to admit this. But it’s true, if you want your book returned unmolested -no salad dressing stains, no rumpled page edges, no unsightly scratches on the new dustcover- don’t lend it to me!

How surprised I was when this beauty turned up.

A-much-read-book

Nope. Wasn’t me.

Not only did I expect not to lay eyes on this paperback by the much respected researcher Brené Brown anytime soon (I was number seriously-double-digits on the library’s wait list),  I also didn’t expect it to turn up rumpled, stained, and just plain dirty.

Yes! I can read it while eating pb&j. 

Wait. BPL, you didn’t read me write that.

Making Soap on a Sunday

06 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Green Life, Learnin'

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goals

Like many people, I write down goals to keep them fresh, away from the landing-path in my head where thoughts clutter if they aren’t attended to. I’m not sure when “homemade laundry detergent” made the list, but I can certainly describe how the idea sat around, un-done, for years. It was even included (but never realized) on my 101 Goals in 1001 Days list.

Alas, soap.

All one on the mouse cheese grater

Seemed it wasn’t to be until, at the Central Branch of the Cambridge Public Library, I bumped into 365 Ways to Live Cheap: Your Everyday Guide to Saving Money by Trent Hamm, whose blog The Simple Dollar leant me much inspiration and energy to work on my finances (and blog-growin’.) Reading through the neat little book, I noticed a blurb about how easy and inexpensive it can be to whip up laundry soap.

Oh, soap.

Half one on the mouse cheese grater

I’ve been spending $12-14 a pop on some gorgeous stuff I pick up at a farm stand in Maine, or discover here and there in at natural products shops. And then there’s my old favorite – Ecover – and new favorite – Biokleen, both over $6 at my local grocer on a good day.

Cleaning dudes

So, fine. I bought some Borax, washing soda, and a bar of the well-loved All One (at three different stores, admittedly, but biking cut my carbon emissions.) And I made myself some laundry detergent. It was a lot like shaving carrots and mixing flour to make muffins. Except no muffin bumping around the inside of my washing machine did much for a week’s worth of soiled kitchen towels, and my new soap worked out fine.

Goal.

Laundry soap, not cheese

Nope. Not cheese.

Touching Every Part Of A Thing

23 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Learnin'

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as-we-are-living-it, cambridge, craft-tastic

At thirteen, I started my first paid job as a page at my local library. Among many boring and not-so-boring tasks: shelving books and folding letters and flyers for mailing. I remember marveling at how my fingerprints were possibly on every single thing in that children’s room.

At twenty-one, I started my first job out of college as an administrative assistant at a dotcom boom era start-up. I stuffed many thousand envelopes and collated collateral. I felt amazed by how, for pay, I touched things and converted them into other, supposedly more valuable things.

Today I rolled a ball from a skein, the yarn sliding through my fingers, silken yet firm. Touching every part of a thing. The work I’m doing is not for pay, but for learning, for creativity as I excitedly anticipate my first class at Gather Here, a soulful neighborhood knit/crochet/sew/craft shop in Cambridge.

yarn on the yuke

Each One Teach One

16 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Learnin'

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

book-love, color, food-n-cookin, nyc

Each one, teach one is a phrase from my childhood. Always, it was in association with the black community; a kind of close-knit striving to bring every person out from the abyss of isolation and fruitless struggle. In this phrase: hope, determination, looking back at a dark history, leaning forward toward success, the idea that each individual has value, despite society’s contrary claim.

I haven’t been that little girl for a long time, eavesdropping on grown-up conversations about the-way-things-are when I should have been sleeping or minding my own. Each one, teach one and it’s cousin, each one, let one (uttered by my mother on the highways of New Jersey when one car refused to let another merge), had virtually disappeared from my lexicon. Lucky for me, other people have better memories.

Snowy branches and leaves

Yes, Chef, the memoir of chef Marcus Samuelsson, born in Ethiopia, raised in Sweden, cooked his way through Europe and landed in America’s famous Harlem, surprised me by cracking open the black experience and laying bare his impressions. Samuelsson’s succinct summary of why so few high-end kitchens employ chefs of color (and women of any color), his brown-outsider’s experience of racism in Sweden, the US and aboard, his desire to contribute, his vulnerabilities, eccentricities, drive and artistry all impressed this reader. Though perhaps I was most moved by his respectful recounting of each one, teach one, pulling it from the past into the future.

No Crystal Stair was another surprise excursion through the heart of black American history. This fictionalized “documentary” by Vaunda Micheaux Nelson shows its effort in the best way; I could feel the hours spent researching -the phone calls, the sudden dead-ends, the victories- in Nelson’s account of her great-uncle, Lewis Micheaux, owner of the famous National Memorial African Bookstore, also of Harlem. Again each one, teach one painted a central theme in the life of Lewis Micheaux, who contributed via his passion for reading, for understanding, for bringing people along.

Snowy boughs in the Arboretum

My mind likes to create connections. Perhaps it’s just human. Unearthing the same theme in two books I chose at random -coincidence?

Whole Heart Resolute 2013

07 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Bloggin Noggin, Learnin', Writing Life

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

goals

A great idea

It’s like someone took hold of 2012 and shook it hard. Catapulted right through that year. There were some beautiful moments, and some hard moments.

Looking back at my 2012 Resolutions and Goals

Resolutions

  1. Practice trust (instead of worry) -this mantra helped enormously with my propensity to worry, it was a bit like a prayer -putting trust out into the great unknown
  2. Understand that everyone is doing the best they are able -another good one, ruminating on this aided in forgiving others, forgiving myself, and more desire to understand instead of judge

Goals

  1. Discover timing and space that works for “Confessions,” and the other books to come -still in progress, but I did get that sabbatical to happen :^)
  2. Get some shelves up -kitchen, litter box room, office -completely missed the mark, I’m not the best at manual tasks and should probably hire help for this goal (anyone, anyone? interested?)
  3. Cull my clothing, keeping only what I love, and keep clothes picked up -I’m happy with my results from this
  4. Eat honey early (for allergies) –I was all over that one, natural sweets = heck yeah!
  5. Develop a “family creed” with my partner -there’s a working draft on our kitchen blackboard right now

Goal for this blog

  1. Grow to 10 views per day –close, I think; 2013 will be even better as I’m making new friends in the blogosphere

Secret resolutions

  1. Visit as many new-to-me local libraries as I’m able –well, I did visit a few non-local libraries, and one very local
  2. Attend a writing residency –I’ll be re-applying to the residency I was wait-listed from last summer

Lets go forward.

Three with sparklers
2013 Resolutions

  1. Learn positive intention statement to combat negativity (and keep myself sane)
  2. Discover what it means to “give back” in a way that fits my current station in life

Goals

  1. When I wake up, get up! (Instead of forcing myself to go back to sleep and then emerging groggy/grumpy/exhausted)
  2. Reintroduce long-hand writing (letter! blog? novel?)

Goals for this blog

  1. Post at least twice per week (sights towards 3x)
  2. Get a new set of blog business cards printed

And while we’re on the topic, I’d like to introduce you my friend Josie Bray of Simple Steps to Wellness blog, who shared a terrific idea about feeling our way through a successful year.

So what are you working on?

Wedding sparkler

The Conscientious Photographer

12 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Learnin'

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

photography

Women enjoy William Wainwright reception

Since I was a child, I have seen the world as collections of stories. Strings of moments -sometimes words, sometimes pictures, or a delicious combination of both.

My relationship with words goes way back to my life in single digits, but my attempts at capturing story in photos is more recent. I’ve been shy. Not for lack of access, inspiration, or role models, but for ways to merge my desire for politeness and conscientiousness with my wish to remain true to my artistic eye.

On numerous occasions during my teen years, I remember driving past a scene on the side of the road that really struck me as one deserving to be recorded -maybe a mother and child waiting for a ride with filled shopping cart. I’d pause the moment, a photograph in my mind. How beautiful their faces, expressions open or closed, expectant. But even if I had the opportunity, I could never intrude.

I owe my renewed interest in photography to my job, where I have served in this role partly because there is no one else. Thousands of shutter presses later, I’m no less reluctant to get personal with my subjects. I tend to sneak around, hunting candid shots, which I usually snap from a safe distance. In most circumstances I ask permission, though at large work events I often don’t. And it’s those occasions when I feel most free to see what I see.

If you are in the habit of taking photos, what’s your approach to the complex question of consent, spontaneity, and art?

The World Without Reading

29 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Learnin'

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book-love

I believe in reading. That’s no secret, huh?

Books, newspapers, circulars, catalogues. Signs, maps, instructions, manuals. The world of reading, the access it creates -it’s unsurpassable. If I had to name one activity, one interest, that has aided me in developing into the successful, striving, curious, critical, and loving person I am today? Reading, hands down, number one.

Reading gets the trophy.

So when I read an article in my new favorite thoughtful-living magazine, Taproot, where a father considers the potential ramifications of his non-reading seven-year-old son, I felt horrified. It wasn’t that the author neglected his obligations as a parent, or even that the child would lag behind his peers in education or access. To me, reading is a sense, and here was this family, blissfully bypassing the opportunity for one of its members to partake.

For me, not-reading seemed, perhaps a little over-dramatically, a world without words. ‘Til my partner sagely stepped in and put the brakes on my rant. He informed me that some people hold by the philosophy that learning to read fixes the way people think. That it sets worn paths for the mind to follow. I wanted to shout, I love those paths! Sign me up for the tour to poetry, to fantasy, to romance and philosophy and cooking!

But when I thought a little about how I experience the world though movement, relating, soundless or soundfilled watching and connecting. And then I thought, hmmm …

IMG_1479

When Reading Gets You

15 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Learnin'

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

book-love

Book stack

The story goes: when I learned to read.

But that tale isn’t complete because, for a lot of us, learning to read doesn’t end in identifying as a “reader.”

Instead, we might say: oh, I wish I read more.

Or: Too bad I don’t have more time/there aren’t more hours in a day/if I were on permanent vacation, then I’d become a reader! Yeah. When I retire.

Or: I only read non-fiction/newspapers/magazines.

Apparently, if we can’t gobble twelve novels in a fortnight, we aren’t truly readers. I guess we’re dabblers? We’re book hobbyists, who are admittedly less than devoted to our hobby. With the television and training for a marathon and practicing with the band and cooking seven nights a week for the kids, putting in extra hours at work, we never reach the Reading Ideal.

Which is what?

The story goes: sometimes it doesn’t matter how you fill your time. When reading gets you, it has you. You pick up one book. You pick up another. Soon, you’ve read so many, they’re melding together in your mind.

A good friend of mine once grabbed a stack of books he found in a parking lot. One seemed interesting, so he read it. Which of course led to reading another. Another. You see . . . reading got him.

A co-worker’s husband devoted himself to one non-fiction account of local color and then reading got him. He descended into a frenzy. Anything he could get his hands on. Book after book. He hasn’t stopped yet.

The story goes: reading might eventually let you go. Who knows when it’ll pick you up again. Don’t prepare. If it happens, then it does. Go with it.

Boston Skillshare 2012 – A Review

24 Friday Aug 2012

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Learnin', Skillshare

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

events, jamaica-plain

I consider the annual Boston Skillshare a quiet revolution. Each year, hundreds of people gather to share, teach, connect, celebrate, and practice the art of learning outside the context of conventional learning practices. The one Boston-area event that I will hard-sell to pretty much anyone willing to listen (all ages, all genders, you’ve got a pulse? Come to the Skillshare!), this year’s bundle of workshops was held in a new location, JP’s Spontaneous Celebrations.

Boston Skillshare - considering the workshops

Although one day of skillsharing really wasn’t enough for me (usually it occurs over a weekend), I appreciated, as always, the homemade vegetarian breakfast and lunch (included in the $3-$10 sliding scale entrance fee) and the opportunity to unabashedly get my learn on.

This year, I enjoyed:
Basic Tree Identification (my partner and I pretend-compete to identify trees, birds, and dogs)
The Science and Art of Making Your Own Household Products (so far I’ve used these recipes to successfully make glass cleaner and deodorant)
Freeing Your Natural Voice (theory about how we vocalize sounds, and exercises)

Next year I hope to get back into teaching -perhaps a reprise of my Crochet 101 and Crochet 102: Granny Squares workshops, or something new. We’ll see!

Ajay compares leaves

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