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Phoebe Sinclair Writes

Phoebe Sinclair Writes

Tag Archives: community

A Case for Public Nudity, or How I Learned to Love the Spa

10 Wednesday Feb 2016

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Community, Learnin'

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Tags

as-we-are-living-it, community, personal-growth, spas

I travel between worlds. I mean . . . we all do, but we’re not always cognizant of the push and pull, how the fit/non-fit shapes and remakes us.

JP Mural - Jose Ramos

I am a child of the heavily-clothed North Eastern States. Raised under the tenets of humility and modesty of my Islamic upbringing, and equally inheriting Western beauty ideals. You’d be hard pressed to convince my teenage self that, in my early twenties I’d appear in the buff in public, on foreign land.

In the locker room of the spa/water park a friend took us to outside of Leipzig, East Germany, a teen boy, (brown, mixed-heritage), dropped the N bomb, or perhaps its Deutsche equivalent, and was instantly-firmly chastised by my horrified (white) friend.

In the outdoor pool at that same spa, a 7-year old, sunning herself on a rock, spied me with gentle, innocent curiously. She was beautiful and I was beautiful. Two bare things soaking up a warm German sun.

JP Mural - Jose Ramos

My younger self, growing up in Coastal New Jersey, mortified when my one-piece bathing suit collected too much sand in the crotch, could not imagine that less than an hour north of me, Korean American children my exact age followed their parents into a parking garage sized ‘health club’ to soak in sex-separated bathing rooms. Would never fathom that, grown up, I’d ‘discover’ these same places where I could just be, and preen . . . and occasionally get chastised by stern-faced grammies, white hair wrapped up in soaked and sweating washcloths, dissatisfied with my spa-etiquette.

JP Mural - Jose Ramos

You probably get my point: I was not raised for public nudity. Mine was to wide leg trousers and sweaters layered one over the other . . . over the other. Mine was to deny men who might treat me as less than a brain, and to not notice if a woman turned me an appreciative eye. Mine was to discomfort and embarrassment, skipping right over ease, gratitude, and pride (Pride being a Bad Word, precursor to dropping your steak in the water while admiring your own reflection, and maybe later drowning.)

Therefore, imagine my growing admiration, respect and delight when, during my first American Korean Spa experience at that crazy, five-floor joint in Queens, I observed a brown-skinned teen at the entrance to the bathing room I’d recently (reluctantly) departed. Her slim back toward me, tiny towel clutched in front of her chest. She gazed into the room at the shining arms, legs, butts, hair, breasts and set in her mind: resolve. I can do this? Right? Stroll in vulnerable; surrender to this space where every woman is as she is and should be.

That girl could, and she did.

JP Mural - Jose Ramos

Whole Heart (Accidental) Hiatus

31 Wednesday Dec 2014

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Community, Learnin', With Friends, Writing Life

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

as-we're-living-it, community

This accidental Whole Heart vacation, where energies led away from updating this blog, I took part in the following:

Waved so-long, but never goodbye, to good friends Patricia and Yutian, who are continuing their adventures in congressional fellowship-ness (sounds fancy) and law down in DC.

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Bid a final goodbye to my Cousin/Uncle Bubby who, through his teasing, fun-loving nature, taught me how to show up for life. And show up well.

Bubby and Phoebe

Took part in two retreats – one up in Concord, MA with Our Commonwealth, one in Rockport, MA with a group of writer friends.

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Completed a draft of my middle grade novel that I feel, finally, has something of value and uniqueness to tempt the market. Connected to this, got to engage in some really great research via zines.

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Fell in obsession love with fan fiction in a big way. That’s a post for another day.

Practiced standing up . . .

(c) Agassiz Baldwin Community 2014

(c) Agassiz Baldwin Community 2014

. . . learned about surrender with OnBeing podcast.

What will the next season bring?

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Dance It Out In the Boston Dance Underground

19 Saturday Jul 2014

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Community

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Tags

community, dancing, events, jamaica-plain

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Some eleven or twelve years into my Boston life, I discovered what I’ve dubbed the Dance Underground. Not clubs. Not classes. Not weddings or any other official-type events. More like dancing in someone’s living room with a whole host of new friends. Or biking down the Southwest Corridor path and discovering a free dance night hosted in a converted garage. That kind of underground.

Sliding scale cover charge sign

the baby dances

From the annual Cambridge City Dance Party to the Holi Color Festival, there are just so many low (and no!) cost ways to shake your groove thing. Including one frighteningly wonderful offering in my own backyard.

globe string lights

hoola hoops and giant slinky

alison & adreinne at dj station

Modeled after Cambridge’s Dance Freedom and Dance Friday weekly events, Dance JP is the child of two well-organized, tune-toting members of the Boston community. On the third Saturday of each month these ladies and accompanying volunteers rent and set up a function room at the First Baptist Church on Centre Street. There’s food, pillows on which to lounge when not dancing, hoola-hoops, and string lights. And the crowd. Wow, the crowd. Age 0+, age 60+, age everybody-in-between. The smiles and bare feet. The moves and grooves. The leaps and laughter. It’s not something to miss.

See you there?

view of feet in dance space

chatting on the dance floor

out-of-focus dancing at dance jp

balloon and people dancing

Somerville Skillshare

19 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Community, Learnin', Skillshare

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

arts, community, events, somerville

Intro to Salsa at Somerville Skillshare 2014

It’s not everyday that one gets the privilege of attending the first of something. Especially an explosively popular and successful first.

Dancing salsa at skillshare

After six or more years participating in and teaching (on occasion) at the punky, funky, and deliciously grass-roots Boston Skillshare, I pretty much became an acolyte of this unique form of community-based learning. If you’ve met me in person, chances are you’ve heard me proselytize about skillshare’s virtues. Chances are even better that I actually dragged you to one.

I’ll just go ahead and state it: skillshare changed my life.

Don't just make art sign

Sketching out my skills

Putting marker to banner

When I caught wind of Somerville’s inaugural attempt at bringing community-based instruction to the DIY-hungry masses, you know I signed up right away. And by “right away,” I mean if a tornado had touched down at that moment, flinging me and my laptop to the sky, I’d have been no less likely to jab the “register” button.

I sure do love me some:

  • Don’t Make Art, Just Make Something!
  • Investing and Stock Market Principles
  • Intro to Digital DJ’ing

I mean, how can anyone resist:

  • Brew Like a Barista (missed it! too full)
  • Felted Orbs (missed it! too full)
  • Intro to Parkour
  • Link Stitch Bookbinding (missed it! at parkour)

See what I’m saying?

make something folk

thanks to everyone tweet

You’re going to come next year, right?

Skillshare door prize

Door prizes rock

(Also, I kind of “won the skillshare.” Thank you, Skillshare organizers!)

Lane Change

09 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Bike Life, Community

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Tags

bike-commuting, bike-love, community, giving

A criticism I’ve heard applied to sea-change efforts/programs, like Teach for America or the Peace Corps, is that the true aim is not to directly impact the people and places served, but to change the person doing the serving. To drive that individual to action beyond the current actions.

Snacks and tunes

In this sequence, it appears that the people and places that should be benefiting are instead being sacrificed for a mere idea of Greater Good; that far-off star we may never touch.

All those young people out there, sweating towards the unreachable.

And the struggle continues

I don’t share that bleak view. Important people in my life, some whom I haven’t yet met (I’m sure), are out there doing that work, systematically affecting change, though what change they may not know. And while they strive, I continue working at the micro-level: one Feminist Culture Club, one pie sorting, one bike ride at a time.

Lane Change is a new Boston-area group uniting cyclists of color. With a few rides under our belt in the warmer months of 2013, we’re looking forward to what 2014 brings. Perhaps not a sea-change, but ripples of fun, joy, and positivity.

Suiting up to ride

Lane Change group 2013

The Well-Trained City Bike Commuter

21 Wednesday Aug 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Bike Life

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

bike-commuting, bike-love, community

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Riding in a city can be tricky stuff. First there’s the cars and how to behave around them. Then there’s the potholes and how not to tumble into them. Finally, and perhaps most challenging, your own naughty self to contend with.

Helmets. Bike lights. One-way streets. Stop signs. Night riding. Relating to fellow commuters who may or may not be running said stop signs as they shoot down one-way streets, sans helmet, in the middle of the night. It’s complicated.

Although I wore a helmet from the start, I admit it took me about two years to complete a contract with myself to stop at every red (it’s so easy to just fly through.) Stop signs are fuzzier: I slow significantly but rarely stop (unless it’s a four-way) because of the effort it takes to get started again from a dead halt. Several years and some nasty verbal clashes have convinced me to self-ban screaming at drivers who pull rude or unaware moves (like the dreaded right-hook.)

I do harbor a few guilty cheats. For one, my apartment sits at the bottom of a steep hill, so I ride the wrong way every evening to get home. My other guilty cheat, discovered when I observed another rider take the easy way into Brookline after crossing the BU Bridge and Commonwealth Ave., was recently resolved, much to my delight!

Do not enter sign

Cycle track in Brookline

A peaceful side-street ride just got more legit.

Lost and Found with Boston Nature Center

15 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Boston Moments, Green Life

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Tags

bike-commuting, city-farm, community

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On a bike ride home from Dorchester, I got lost.

One confused turn led to another, to another. Traveling down a road lined with brick homes that reminded me of the old military base I once lived near in New Jersey, I stopped in front of a welcoming yellow building. And then I was found.

View of Boston Nature Center

Boston Nature Center front

The best thing about getting lost in Boston is that it’s a fail-proof method for learning what is where and how the neighborhoods connect.

Stick lean-to in progress

The Boston Nature Center is an urban wildlife sanctuary located on the grounds of the former Boston State Hospital. It offers programming for elementary school age children as well as miles of trails and many bushes under which rabbits graze to their heart’s content.

Rabbit spots the photographer

Lots and lots of rabbits . . .

Rabbit with tail up

Rabbits just chillin

Two rabbits hide in grass

Look closely for two sets of ears!

Right nearby to the Nature Center are the Clark Cooper Community Gardens. Described as some of Boston’s oldest, this impressively large collection of community gardens probably does not welcome rabbits. In the past, friends and I once spotted some wild turkeys loitering around the edges.

Horse trinket on fence

Green roof at Clark Cooper Community Gardens

Fence post

Gardens in the sun

So what have you found when you were lost?

Boston Pride Parade 2013

24 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Boston Moments, Community

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

color, community, events, jamaica-plain, photography, spring

Man in leather underpants

My first Boston Pride Parade was a revelation. Leather clad ladies on motorcycles. Gyrating men in their underpants dancing to club beats. A politician or two shaking hands while proclaiming progressive platforms. Local health and advocacy groups tossing beads and colorfully packaged condoms, littering the streets with flyers and candy.

I was mesmerized. I was amazed. I’ve gone back again and again.

"Dyke" on rainbow pedal bike

Pride street signs

"Queen" wearing ladybug hat

In the decade or so that I’ve attended (and once, marched with Greater Boston NOW,) the parade has changed. Perhaps matured? Strong in its themes of inclusivity, celebration, activism, and pride, there have been -over the years- a noticeable reduction in near-nude men festooning flatbed trucks and an increase in religious communities, families, politicians, and corporate allies.

Fish-man in tractor with pride wheel

I don’t know. You tell me.

Boy on unicycle handing out fans

Weekly DIG newsletter box monkey costume

Even though I don’t identify as gay, lesbian, queer, or transgender, I’m never the odd person out at Pride, whatever it’s current styling. Which is more than I can say for a certain high school history class where I slumped, hot-faced and confused, as my teacher rattled on about how gays couldn’t serve in the military because they were too limp-wristed and lisping. (Way to disrespect our service members, Mr. Name-I-Can’t-Recall.)

Roller derby lady

Boston Ballet represents at Pride

I’m so grateful to my alma mater for helping to release me from the tight hold of an inherited prejudice. My four years at an arts and communication college in Boston were a key folding back a metal lid, out from which exploded a beautiful confetti.

Walkers appreciating out-going Mayor Thomas Menino

Walkers appreciate out-going Mayor Thomas Menino, long-time a friend to Boston Pride

Blessed are the fabulous car

Pride Asian fans

And thank goodness.

Flyering – A City Contact Sport

11 Tuesday Jun 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Boston Moments, Community

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Tags

community, events, food-n-cookin, somerville

I have this idea that posting flyers is unique to city living.

Posting a flyer inside the Union Square record shop

It’s not, exactly. As a kid in New Jersey, my family sometimes pinned notices about kittens (FREE!) to the local grocery store bulletin board. Summers, I hand wrote bubble-letter yard sale announcements on bright pink poster paper.

Unstraight and the Clear Deigns show announcement

I’d claim flyering in the ‘burbs plays “rarely-visiting distant cousin” to the “endless house guest” of taking to the streets with packing tape, cracked box of pushpins secured with a rubber band, and slowly wrinkling stack of flyers tucked under an arm as one narrow-eyes a telephone pole, wondering how long a notice might stay before someone else covers it up, or rips it down . . .

Triple portrait in window - Phoebe, David, cyclist

This weekend, my partner and I flyered for his band’s upcoming show in Somerville. I’ve beat the streets fairly consistently since my days organizing the Boston NOW Feminist Culture Club (defunct) and Boston Knit-Out & Crochet festivals (re-imagined), also frequently flyering for my current job. So I had a few ropes to share with David: do’s and dont’s, whys and hows of this decidedly analog approach to getting out the word.

Phoebe’s flyering dos and don’ts
DO design your flyer to catch the eye and make good use of white space
DO include a call to action (i.e. “COME to our wicked-awesome dance party!”)
DO post wherever you find a dedicated board – check libraries, coffee shops, post offices, supermarkets, thrift stores, ice cream parlors, and realtors – and it’s polite to ask before posting if the pizza guy is staring you down while flipping his dough
DO use flyering as an opportunity to better get to know your neighborhood AND grab a treat while you’re out

DON’T cover up someone else’s flyer, if at all possible (DO exercise your Tetris skills and shift other flyers around -removing any that have expired – until everybody fits)
DON’T flyer near signs that read “post no bills,” especially if the flyer has your name and contact
DON’T flyer at colleges, universities, or city offices unless you’ve secured clearance -they patrol and your flyer might be removed immediately (what we-in-the-business call “wasted effort”)

Union Square donut and ice coffee

Treats!

Our treat, while in Union Square, Somerville, was to finally get a taste of the popular new donuts I’d been hearing so much about. Lucky for us, there were none of the purported lines or long sold out pastries, and all of the clever flavors, cheerful, enthusiastic staff, and fluffy-buttery deliciousness. Yum!

Donut case and ice coffee chalkboard sign

Snuffy doll atop sign invites people into the donut shop

Sweet Ride Cambridge 2013

04 Tuesday Jun 2013

Posted by Phoebe (she / hers) in Bike Life, Community

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Tags

bike-love, cambridge, community, events, food-n-cookin, spring

Officially, I gave up my candy habit some time around 2005. Shocking then, right, that I somehow found myself sucking down conversation hearts while listening to a talk on Cambridge’s sugary legacy -that of flat, candy wafers that spark in the dark, figgy cookies, and mints that come in papa, mama, and junior? (Actually, not that shocking . . . )

Mayor Davis helps to kick things off at the start of the Sweet Ride

Cambridge Mayor Henrietta Davis helps to kick things off at the Sweet Ride (photo courtesy Cambridge Bicycle Committee)

Between the riding, listening, and somewhat guilt-free gobbling of complimentary goodies provided by our hosts, I may not have found opportunity to snap photos even if I had bought along my reliable (and admittedly clunky) Canon. Glad I’m not the only person sweet on fond remembrance.

Ride-specific Sweetheart

Cambridge Bikes is a Sweetheart (courtesy of Cambridge Bicycle Committee)

The photos featured here are borrowed courtesy of the fine planners/bike enthusiasts at Cambridge Bicycle Committee.

In addition to being so kind as to let me partake of their photos, I enjoyed that this well-organized tour of Cambridge was split into “sweet” and “savory” with brief, interesting lectures at several resting points.

Two young men on trick bikes

Sweet or savory, bikes in all flavors (photo courtesy of Cambridge Bicycle Committee)

Two men with three bowties

These gents could be on the bow tie ride (photo courtesy of Cambridge Bicycle Committee)

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